


Season 2 E3: The One Where Heckles Dies and A New Love Blooms

by BlackShady313



Category: Friends (TV)
Genre: Happy Ending, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Pining, feelings realized, though chandler is the bigger idiot, two idiots in love, unaware chandler
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-10
Updated: 2019-08-10
Packaged: 2020-08-14 08:37:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 13,346
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20189410
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlackShady313/pseuds/BlackShady313
Summary: The death of downstairs neighbour Mr. Heckles has the group rattled and shocked when news spreads quickly  throughout the building.Even more so, Monica and Rachel are appointed to everything left behind in his apartment- be it good or bad.As the group sorts through one man's 'treasures' Chandler  Bing finds himself unable to ignore the obvious life style similarities between himself and the newly deceased recluse and it's a realization that terrifies him.It's with these concerns that has the brunette second guessing himself and his non- existant love life.Is it as he expects and he's destined to die alone?Perhaps his best friend and roommate, Joey, can help him find romance, or at least a date."Good old Joey," as Chandler would put it.And Joey, being the good friend that he is, would do anything and everything to make his best friend happy.But what if...Joey Tribbiani had this little idea of wanting to be happy as well?





	1. The Day That Mr.Heckles Died

**Author's Note:**

> So as you might of guessed by the title, this particular story is based on the episode where Mr.Heckles dies and Chandler worries he's going to end up just like him;
> 
> Dead and alone. 
> 
> ***IMPORTANT TO NOTE*** Bold and Italicized words are characters inner thoughts.  
** <-- Time change.

"I got to side with Chandler on this one."

No sooner had the words left Joey Tribbiani mouth did Chandler know he wasn't going to like whatever his friend/roommate had to say next.

He had been right.

"I mean... when I first moved to the city I went out a couple times with this girl-- really hot, great kisser, but she had the biggest adams apple," he's gesturing wildly with his hands to his neck as his eyes widen in emphasis to his story.

He's completely sympathizing with Chandler, while everyone else is registering something else.

You could cut the silence with a knife, Rachel instantly suppressing a laugh as she clutches at her mouth desperately with Monica beside her.

Chandler freezes, not 100% sure if what he's just heard is correct before remembering this was Joey they were talking about.

With that knowledge, he pauses, looking at Ross for confirmation as the latter also glances at him.

"You or me?" An innocent and valid question for someone had to tell there friend, right?

**_God how could you not know, how could you not know...._ **Chandler chanted, suddenly feeling warm and anxious, knowing this was bothering him more then it should.

There was a million things running through the brunette's head, quietly relieved when Ross turned, stepping up to the plate.

"Uh, Joey..." and he's giving his trademarked incredulous Ross expression as he can't help but shake his head. "I can't believe I need to explain this," he mutters to himself before continuing,

"Women don't have adam's apples."

The same completely blissed out toothy smile never leaves Tribbiani's face as the words slowly register with him before he's also shaking his head with a laugh; dismissively.

"You guys are messing with me right?" The room fills with an awkward almost anxious silence before the group decides as a whole that perhaps, somethings are better left without being said.

"Yeah, yes, of course!" The group chimes in, satisfying the Italian.

Weirdly enough Joey didn't see relieved, just agreeable.

"Ha you guys! That was a good one because for a second there i was like, whoa."

_** Woah?? That's it just woah??** _

Chandler couldn't help but think that if the roles were reversed that he would have a much different response.

_** Perhaps one on the more, OH MY GOD, OH MY FUCKING GOD!** _variety. 

Instead, false smile plastered to his face, all he could do was echo everyone's laughter at the ignorance of his friend Joey.

"Woah indeed," he muttered quietly, then flushed in embarrassment upon realizing Joey was staring at him eyebrow cocked.

"What was that there old buddy," hands move clasping firmly on his shoulder as his eyebrow cocks quizzically as he glances down, looming overtop of his best friend.

"I know you sure wouldn't say anything considering your history Chan,"

"Or lack of," Rachel coughs, giggling.

"Ha, ha, that's so funny," the man in question fake laughs, standing up with nervous energy as he begins to pace.

"Hey at least you got your smarts about you and dumped Janice," Monica offers helpfully as she rests happily against Phoebe's side as the long haired woman scrunches her face in fake concentration.

"Hello Chandler Bing!" she calls with her best interpretation of her friends ex girlfriend.

"Oh...my....god," a overly nasally voice calls in mock demonstration and the brunette just rolls his eyes in response, shrugging his shoulders at his best gal pals who giggle in response.

Although Janice was still a slightly touchy subject at times, the brunette couldn't help but find himself grinning to the good natured ribbing from his best friends.

Well until...

"Oh, Chandler... now...now... That's it. _There._ ." The tone didn't sound obnoxious or nasally or even grating.

The teasing voice sounded... lecherous and sensual and just downright seductive.

_ **That's....that's..** _

"Faster," an alluring voice moans.

_ ** ..God...oh go! S-s...g-good.. ** _

_ **S-soo good... ** _

_**Too good!** _

Chandler crossed his legs anxiously as he turns his flustered face away upon realizing who was doing it.

Turning with his trademark shit eating grin, Joey smiles.

Sandwich in his hand, he looks eagerly at the group that have all mirror his delight back.

Well...not everyone.

Chandler stiffened, realizing his roommate was pretending to be his ex-girlfriend during sex.

"I um, that's..."

_** What the fuck Joey?!** _

The Italian, clearly oblivious to his roommates discomfort, nudged his best friend before sitting too close down beside him at the kitchen table.

Or perhaps Chandler just perceived him to be too close, face still an obvious flush as he played with his hands in his lap.

**

"You guys, I can't believe Mr. Heckles is really dead," Monica's shocked face calls as she robotically shuts the door, turning to face the group.

Mr. Heckles, the elderly man upstairs that would always bang his broom up at the ceiling and come yelling at her door about some odd ended thing or another.

He was a pain in their ass, but still...he was Mr. Heckles and there was no denying the sadness over the news.

It was almost as sad as the fact that,

"Wait, his attorney said we get everything he owned in his apartment?"

**

"Oh my god you guys, look at all this junk!" Six pairs of eyes darted back and forth as pressed bodies moved further into the apartment to examine the contents to it's full extent.

"This is going to take forever even with all of us helping. I'm starting to think he really did hate us after all." Monica muttered sharply as her eyes widened at the sight.

"Well it's not all bad, I'm sure there's some really cool stuff we could find around here like...." Phoebe glanced around the room full of stacked mangled amounts of garbage and random knick knacks before her eyes landed on a gody lamp of a naked girly doll.

"She's kinda fun," she called optimistically as the clock ticked and turned signaling it was officially 12:00 as the doll began to whistle and shake its hips sensually.

"See....fun!"

"More like trashy, like the rest of this crap," Monica muttered as she shook her head, breathing deep as she contemplated where to even start.

Meanwhile, the boy's were making the most of it, finding their fun in anything they could find.

"Hey Chandler get a look at this, a big book of Griviences, and HEY! I'm in here!" Joey curls his fingers along the thick spine of the black leather before plopping himself down on the couch.

"Oh yeah? Well this should be good, he gives a matching smirk to his best friend as he comes in close to hear Joey's words.

"April 17th, excessive noise. Italian guy comes home with a date." A beat then realization hits at the implications.

"Well alright," he grins wide eyed as Chandler pats him on the back in encouragement.

"Right on man, solid."

"Thanks, thanks, and oh hey, Chan your in here to!"

At that, Chandler comes back, leaning over the couch to peak at whatever his roommate is refering to.

"April 18th excessive noise, Italian guy's ... gay roommate brings home dry cleaning.."

He trails off as Monica snickers quietly behind him and Joey just shrugs.

_ ** Joey's gay roommate?** _

_ ** ....Joey** _

Chandler swallows down the lump of nervousness that's heavy on his chest.

_** Well...whatever.** _

Chandler knows he's not gay, he knows it's not true.

_ **Mr. Heckles didn't know shit.** _

So then, why can't he stop the burn of shame that's creeping up at the implication of the words.

"He thinks I'm gay?" he turns to Monica a fake laugh on his face as she mirrors Joey, shrugging her shoulers gently in response.

"_Why_ does he think I'm gay?" This time he's turning to Ross who's already engaged and discussing with Phoebe the nature of creation.

A friendly shoulder, and Joey moves to rub Chandler's neck encouranginly.

"Hey if it makes you feel any better Chan, I don't think your gay."

There's a... _weird_ tone to his voice and the brunette is unable to place it but he doesn't question it, instead mumbling a quiet, "Thanks Joe," as the dark haired boy nods in response before moving somewhere else in the room.

**

"Oh god...this is me. This is what I do," Panic etches across Chandler's face with each messy written cue card he finds of Mr. Heckles; the apartment recluse.

"Too tall, too stupid... god I'm going to end up alone just like he did." The realization sits heavy on his chest, the anxious dread of emptiness curling in his chest as he fights back the fear in front of Joey.

Chandler has always been a bit...overly particular with his taste in women. They couldn't be too 'flawed' as the latter had put it and unfortunate it left the brunette often alone and dateless for more nights then he cared to admit.

Now it seemed like Mr.Heckles had been the same way as both boys had more time to search out and explore the overly crowded apartment. There was alot of eerily similarities between Chandler and Mr.Heckes, and the brunette didn't need a microscope to know how that had gone and ended.

_**Dead and alone.** _

"Chandler common, your going to find somebody." Joey says reassuringly, coming close to give his full attention to his best friend.

"How do you know that?" the words are desperate, pleading. He knows he must sound impossibly desolate but in the epiphany of his somberness he can't find the moment to care.

Joey seems about to say something before he hesitates, biting his lip as he looks away from his friend.

"I don't know," he says quietly instead, and although Chandler knows that's not what his best friend wanted to say, he doesn't care to ask; supisicons already confirmed.

_ **Exactly. ** _

"I'm going to die alone."

**

"I just way to say this is stupid by the way,"

"Yeah, I know, you told me, like a hundred times," and he just shugs it off good naturdly, as he typically does.

Despite it's obvious drone of a common quirk from the other man, Chandler can't help but think,

_**Joey... he's always so happy go lucky. Why can't I be more like that!** _

A strange unfamiliar feeling pits the back of Chandler's stomach, and he's not quite sure what it is.

It's a knawing and unwanted sensation and Chandler knows that whatever it is, he doesn't like it one bit so the feelings are pushed down as he hits the foosball figurine aggressively.

"But I really think this is going to work Chan, you just have to trust me. Noreen, she's a knock out your going to love her and trust me she's going to love you." 

_ **Trust you?** _

_ ** God Joey your so blissfully ignorant sometimes. Somedays I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad one. ** _

He feels bitter at the thought, of the worry, the fear of rejection. As fussy as he was, Chandler knows he's far from perfect himself.

_ **And to embarrass myself in front of Joey as well? ** _

_**Fun.** _

That does not sit well with him at all. But he knows he can't say anything so instead he goes for easy, for a guaranteed sure thing.

"And maybe you should just trust that Janice is a great fit for me." he says between gritted teeth as he attempts a tail spin with the handle of the game which Joey easily intercepts.

"Common man you can't still be hung up on her can you? You've dumped her what, 4 times now."

"Ha-ha, five but who's counting."

That seems to be the end of the discussion, which if Chandler is being honest, he's thankful for. He knows deep down that Janice is just a distraction and a poor one at that, but it's the only option he has.

Unfortunately it isn't the end of the sensitive topic after all as Joey sinks a ball into his roommates corner before giving a cheeky smirk as he locks eyes on the brunette.

"What, don't tell me my impersonation earlier made you miss her? Because I swear in reality even I sound better then her!

Chandler blinks slowly in confusion then blinks again in terrible realization as the words register and sit heavy on his chest.

_** !!** _

"Your-w-what." He's not even sure what to say, at a loss and completely distraught.

The truth is Chandler is very aware of what his roommate is referring to. The problem is that it's something he's been actively trying to forget ever since.

The true reasons terrify him, so Chandler just deflects like he always does.

"Her voice isn't that bad," he mutters shyly as he goes out of his way to avoid looking at his roommate.

Joey, missing social cues, decides, to Chandler's horror, to explain it as if his friend needed the extra help.

"What? No man I'm not talking about the real Janice. Come on', man don't you remember earlier today at the girl's house when me Rachel and Phoebe were all making fun of Janice's voice and I was pretending to be her during while you two fucked?"

_**...** _

Joey takes Chandler's stunned silence as a request to continue.

"Because I could hear you two and all, you know, what with the thin walls and what not," he taps lightly to the wall beside their head as if to prove his point.

_**Oh...oh.. god...** _

He knows the words are completely innocent, but it still sends a rush of blood coursing through Chandler's body at his roommates phrase of words.

"Remember man?"

_Oh, Chandler... now...now... That's it. There. Faster._

How could he forget?

"Yes I remember," the brunette can't help but hiss out as he scrunches his eyes sealed shut.

He does not like where this conversation was going and was desperate for it to cease immediately.

"I just...I don't wanna die alone Joe." He knows at this point he must sound like a broken record but it's the only thing he can think of in his embarrassed state.

Perhaps in some small way it was as if he was apologizing for trying to go back out with Janice again.

Joey finally sensing the tension in the room, stops playing for a second to give his roommate his undivided attention.

"Hey I know buddy, and that's why I'm going to kick your ass at foosball and win this bet so you can meet someone new and awesome."

_ ** Good old Joey. Always there for a friend.** _

For some reason the thought feels weird to him, not quite sitting right, and Chandler doesn't dare wonder why.

** _It doesn't matter I just need a distraction._ **

"So when I win the game be prepared to kneel and bow before the new foosball champion," Chandler calls cockily but it's all a false bravo and in some small sense they both know that.

"Yeah okay buddy," Joey smirks back with a wink as he refocuses on the table top 'kitchen table'.

The bet was simple. Whoever won a match of foosball got to determine who Chandler was going to go on a date with later tonight.

_**God help me.** _

Mystery new lady

Or Janice.

The obvious being Joey trying to get Chandler away from his annoying ex.

Not that any of that mattered for Chandler was feeling determined and lucky and nothing was going to stop h-

"YES! I knew I could kick your ass." Joey's doing a victory cheer, hands flaying in the air as he jumps excitedly. Chandler would find it amusing and almost enduring if it wasn't for the fact that he had just lost to Joey which meant...

Joey stops dancing long enough to slap his roommates back in glee.

"Like I was saying, Chan, you've got nothing to worry about man, she's gonna love you, I mean what's not to love?"

_** How about everything.** _

**

"Hi I'm Chandler, I make jokes when I'm uncomfortable." A quirk of his smile and he hopes he's saved something of the night.

Unfortunately, he does not, the date lasting no more then 20 minutes before a fiery red head gets up from the table, pushing the chair loudly back as she makes her hasty exit.

5 minutes of awkward first tensions, 5 of boring meaningless chats on both sides, and 10 minutes of silence on her end with Chandler making awkward and embarrassing jokes the entire time before his date, Noreen, decided she had enough of boring old Chandler before she was up and gone before their full meal had even been served.

**_WHAT.THTE ACTUAL HELL IS.WRONG.WITH.ME_ **He want's to bash his head into the wall, but he refrains, running upset hands threw short brown hair.

** _ Why can't I make it through one lousy date??_ **

Chandler wonders if he stays here long enough if the floor will eventually wear away and swallow him hole when he feels a slight pressure to the side of him. It's only when the feeling continues does he dare look up and catches big brown worried eyes as his best friend is leaning down close.

"Hey Chan," he's moving closer in the booth, now resting right beside the other man as he casually throws an arm around the back of the material.

"Sorry about that girl."

"Yeah well, her loss right? What's not to love like you said," and if there's an air of coldness to his demeanour well then Chandler can't help it nor does he really care.

Joey, god bless his soul, doesn't seem to notice or perhaps he's just politely ignoring it as he smiles sweetly.

"Exactly. I guess she just wasn't ready for all that love," he winks and Chandler can't help but marvel at how relaxed he suddenly feels at his roommates words and expression.

_ **How does he do that? Despite everything he always makes me feel like things are going to be okay. ** _

Then playfully he nudges his friend, "Besides did you get a good look at her toes? Sasquatch much."

He knows it's a lie. There wasn't anything wrong with her, physically anyways.

Chandler in his over analytic eyes had given the girl of the night a once, then twice over just to be sure before heading out with her on his arm.

But, Joey was just trying to help, and the brunette would be lying if he didn't admit that he was happy for the cop out.

"Yeah well," he scuffs his foot shyly to the side unconsciously, as he nervously bites his lip.

"Her name was Noreen so I mean..." hands up in exaggerated pose as he fuses humor with hurt.

Joey settles further into the plush material, eyes sparkling as he slips into an easy demenour. "That it is, that it is..."

"So uh, where's your date?" Chandler can't help but ask as he casually glances around.

The original plan had been to double date, Chandler and Noreen and Joey and...

_**Melissa? Alyssa?** _

Well, he couldn't remember other then she was a real pretty thing and also Joey's lady so he had diverted all his attention on his own date.

Not that Noreen wasn't pretty, Joey always delivered, and she was quite the looker.

_ **Not that it matters now.** _

"Huh, her? Oh you know how girl's are. When one leaves so does the other.

As a matter of fact Chandler really didn't know women, and that was perhaps half his qualms.

What he did know however with complete certinety was one of two things.

One being that women who typically didn't know each other, nor having exchanged any words during the brief and awkward meal, would randomly leave together, especially when said woman had been completely curled up into Joey's side the entire date so far.

Chandler was dateless not clueless.

And two being that his best friend Joey Tribbiani, despite being an actor, was a completely shit liar and this was no exception.

With his realization that Joey had given up on a sure thing with the gorgeous dame of tonight he can't find it in himself to say anything. He knows he should be embarrassed and truthfully he is embarassed.

But mostly he's just really _really_ grateful Joey's here with him and hasn't left him alone.

In fact he's giving him his full attention now and Chandler can't help but feel anything but special.

_ ** If Joey cares this much about me then maybe one day some lady will as well.** _

The thought of future happiness and finding 'that special girl' flares another wave of anxiety deep inside Chandler's chest as hands curl tightly against the table cloth in restraint.

_ ** There's something wrong with me... ** _

_**We should leave. Why are we even still here?** _

"So uh, do you wanna go home and watch an episode of Baywatch? I'm sure I have a couple taped on the VHS somewhere." he's released his death grip on the table and is now busy playing with his hands nervously in his pockets. Joey may help him forget his troubles but unfortunately even his best friend didn't possess the powers to erase the mortification and rejection. Chandler was all but desperate to go home and forget the ruin of the day.

_ ** Maybe if I'm lucky I can get some sleep before the full reality of my pathetic world comes crashing down on me. ** _

But he's too wound up, he needs to destress and breath. Joey was always good at calming him down when he wasn't purposely pissing him off.

The man in question purses his lips as if giving the words a serious thought before he comments with a twinkle in his eye. "We could, we could, buttt- hold on, wait a second, why leave now? I mean food is food right and we did just order. I've been here before and the meals are exquisite. " He puckers up his lips, making the fake Italian sign with his hand before reaching for the wine.

"Coming from a man that would eat nothing but spoonfuls of jam, I'm not sure how heavy weighted I'd take your food choices or recommendations," Chandler's smirking, leaning back to get comfortable as he takes the dark red liquid that spins against crystal. Joey had poured them both a generous amount, a weight that Chandler doesn't want to make the mistake of loose fingers clumsily breaking. He's so busy concentrating on getting his fingers to grip the base that his brain doesn't even register that he's holding someone else's hand until a presence moves close.

In his taxing concern of not drawing anymore embarrassing and unwanted attention his way after his date had obviously walked out, Chandler finds himself, to his horror doing just that.

In his haste he had reached for the glass Joey had pushed towards him and wrapped his fingers along the glasses stem- and Joey's hand.

"Dinner and a romantic hand hold? Am I lucky or what," and he's laughing sweetly, a quick little wink his way.

Normally Chandler would react with a slight aggravated remark, the gay topic of discussion being a slightly touchy subject to the man.

But right now with his best friend looking so happy and earnest, the brunette couldn't find it in himself to retort such a crude remark.

That and...

His body also seemed impuissant to hide the steady blush that begun to blanket his face upon the insinuation and casual flirty wink, though Chandler was unable to see himself and wouldn't of acknowledged his bodies reactions even if he could.

Joey had gone out of his way to set Chandler up on a date, even picking out what looked like a beautiful place. And then to top it all off Joey had ditched his own date in favor of keeping Chandler company.

Joey Tribbani was something special, and perhaps it's why Chandler didn't move across the table to the other side of the booth. Perhaps it's why he didn't comment when said amazing friend didn't himself bother moving back; arm still wrapped around the back of the booth where Chandler's head rest. With the absence of both dates, the large plush red fabricated seat seemed almost too large, and it was slightly off putting how close both boys still remained almost pressed against one another with so much free and available space.

But, Joey was being so nice, so thoughtful, laughing with ease beside his roommate without a single care in the world. He could only imagine what the other tables assumed of the two...

_ **But this shouldn't matter, right? Such a small factor really so who cares what other people might think, I mean it's just Joey, after all right?** _

_ ** Just Joey....** _

A muscular arm flexed, moving to lightly cup and squeeze the top of Chandler's shoulder as the Italian smiled warmly at his best friend.

"Now let's get something to eat, supper is on me alright buddy?"

_**Just Joey...** _

Chandler swallowed a nervous lump as he nodded mutely, afraid to speak as he looked down nervously at his hands.

A tick that Chandler had grown accustomed to.

_ **If I can't seem them then they can't see me...** _

He knows it's not true but it's the lie itself that keeps his sanity in check.

**_ What's wrong with me? Relax for fuck sakes...._ **

Breathing deeply to himself, Chandler calmed his heart before unfolding his trembling hands as he decided to busy himself in a more meaningful task.

Giving the menus prices a once more, the brunette goes to reassure him that he is more than capable of paying his own way but Joey is looking him dead in the eye with such ernest that when he says, "No seriously, let me, please Chan?" there's something significant, almost pleading in his eyes that Chandler can't ignore and....

Well, how can he say no to that?

Even if the thought of Joey paying for their dinner felt uneasily like a date, Chandler says nothing of the sort chalking everything up to his over active imagination.

Joey was his roommate, not to mention his _best friend_. It wasn't weird if the other man wanted to do something nice for him after such a disastrous supposed-to-be-date.

_**And I mean it was his stupid idea to begin with to go out with this Noreen lady anyways, I knew Janice was a better idea.** _

"Yeah sure Joe, and hey thanks man,' he flashes a winning smile in what he hopes it seen as appreciative.

"Of course. Anything for you man."

A skip of pleasant but charged silence and then,

"Hey Joe?"

"Yeah Chan?"

"What do you think I should get?"

The man in question turns to squint at the fine handwritten words written on thin paper as he purses his lip in thought.

"Um , hm let's see, how about some nice _Proskeetoo._"

It takes the brunette a beat, eyebrow quirked as he scanned the menu before smiling slightly to himself as he looked up in understanding.

"Hey Joe?"

Stupidly bright grin, "Yea Chan?"

"I think it's pronounced _pro-shoo-toh_ as in prosciutto.

"Oh yeah? pro...shoo...toh, ha no kidding hey!"

He nods happily with this new found piece of knowledge as he goes back to looking at his own menu leaving his friend with his thoughts momentarily.

He knows that most people wouldn't of made that mistake, and that most people would find it annoying to have to explain something so basic to someone.

Not Chandler though, as he can't help but fight his own smile back. To him it made Joey almost innocent, and he loved helping his best friend any chance he got; especially when he was the one to help him discover something new.

The little knowledge of it being a _him_ and Joey thing, sends something funny flushing through his chest.

When Joey finally decided on something from his own menu, his trademark smile was already back as he looked at Chandler with the most earnest face.

"What are you smiling about Joe?" There's a good natured tease to his tone, a fondness the brunette doesn't bother hiding from his best friend.

"Nothing man, just... Chan your so damn smart you know that?" There's a look of almost awe on the actors face, and Chandler can't hide the blush creeping up at the unexpected compliment.

He wants to joke, to brush it off like he always does in a wave of dismissive humor but for once the brunette finds he just cant. After the long day he's had its nice to just sit and let the words roll and wash over him in bliss.

_ **This is nice. ** _

It was strange but Chandler felt at peace, caught up in the moment with no thoughts of either Noreen or Janice on his mind. He finds his eyes briefly fluttering close as his mouth quirks in a peaceful line. He senses his best friend shifting, whether nearer or further the brunette is unsure but he feels the other man, and he lets his presence set him at ease for as long as his mind will let him.

Yes Joey Tribbani really was something remarkable and wonderful, and Chandler just hopes to god that his roommate knows that.

**

"You did NOT do that?" Chandler asks wide eyes as holds back a laugh between the fist clenched in his mouth.

"No fooling, I did in 5th grade, ask Macy I swear."

"Ask Macy?"

"Yeah, yeah that's what I said, Ask her, she'd agree."

"You mean the same Macy that you went to elementry with that you haven't seen in 10+ years and me who's _never_ met her.

"I'm telling you man the story is true, ask her," arms cross as he nods his head in unthought agreement.

"Yeah, I'll get right on that," Chandler calls with a good-natured eyeroll as he pretends to flip through an imaginary address book.

"Hmm let's see, Macy, Macy... ah ha! there we go I found her number."

"No kidding! Really? What do you have it mesmerized or something?"

"Do I-? my god Joey, of course not for god's sake."

_**Sometimes I wonder how were even friends**_. He doesn't mean it seriously of course, just shocked at how dense his roommate could be at times.

He had dated someone like that once many years ago, a girl by the name of Cindy who was a little slow but had a heart of gold.

The relationship had lasted a couple days before Chandler finally had to end things between the two of them. She was sweet, but her intellect or lack of, finally got to him and he had to call things off.

What was strange however, was that Chandler and Joey had been roommates for awhile, years now in fact. And in the beginning the brunette had expected the same feeling of annoyance he had experienced for Cindy, to also take a toll with his new roommate at the time, Joey.

Much to his surprise, he found Joey's ignorant and at times innocent quirk to be anything but displeasing finding it rather enduring instead.

Why he hadn't felt that way about Cindy, he didn't know for sure. Chandler knows at times he can be unfairly picky, and as such chalks it up to that.

"Well good, because if she remembers me it's not likely for a good reason," his thoughts snap Chandler back to reality as he can't help but scoff at his friends confession.

"You slept with her didn't you?" A mocked eyebrow quirk and Joey returns the same facial expression followed by a blinding smile a jerky nod of his head.

"I did!"

Silence and then they're both laughing and Chandler can't help but think this had ended up being a perfect day after all, regardless of earlier.

As the night went on and Chandler felt himself getting more and more relaxed and surprisingly actually happy he couldn't help but shake a feeling. That despite how amazing everything was going, Chandler had been rejected, and the image of his failed attempt of a date flashes through his mind.

_**Why can't I just be normal...** _

How he had wished things could be as easy as how he felt with Joey right now.

It's not that he felt something amazing with this Noreen lady, or that she was incredibly hot ( though she was a looker) or even that the date had gone well. In reality Chandler himself had felt that the date was going just as bad. But still, some small part of him hoped that she'd like him and he could maybe try to force himself to like her a little more and then maybe things could work out.

_**At least for a bit**_ Chandler would reason.

Except.... the more Chandler thought about it, then more he realized he didn't want that all.

He wanted something....else and the brunette contemplated in the terrible fact and fear that he had no idea what that even was.

He suddenly felt lost in the overly crowded and saturated restaurant, taking a nervous sip of his wine as he licked the sweet taste away with his lips.

It wasn't that Chandler wasn't having a good time with Joey in fact he was having a surprisingly amazing time. But good times or not it didn't detour Chandler's thoughts of still feeling...different, almost isolated from everyone else. Almost as if he was alone.

_** Did Mr. Heckles feel this way to??** _he thought casually, not noticing anyone ever going down to see his elderly downstairs neighbour, nor did he ever seem to leave with someone.

_**Oh god. Who am I kidding. I'm going to die alone.** _

"Hey Chan if they give either of us chopsticks we can make Walrus tusks with our faces."

Chandler blinks up from his trail of self loathing, a small smile blanketing his face at the welcome distraction.

"Well I can't see prosciutto and a 10 oz sirloin stake entailing chopsticks, but hey you never know right?"

_ "Anything's_ possible Chan," and he's offering a little lopsided grin and Chandler swears he must be hearing things because it almost sounds like the tone in Joey's voice is implying... something, though he has no idea on what that something could possibly be.

He does however have to admire his enthusiasm and optimism of his roommate again, feeling the waves of sadness and loneliness completely wash away from him again as if by magic. It was like a tidal wave. A high of happiness before a salty blue crash of dejection came crashing back down at a steady head front.

But right now his roommate was wagging his eyebrows with a silly smirk and Chandler let's himself enjoy the high of happiness.

** _ Good old Joey._ **

When Chandler was with his best friend he didn't feel so alone, it was like he could take on the world if only Joey kept him distracted and kept his attention focused on him.

Something that seemed almost selfish, but Joey never seemed to have a problem with always making his roommate feel like he was the most important person in the world, and Chandler was more then grateful.

"Hey Joe, I wanted to thank you again."

"Huh, for what man?"

"For tonight, for everything. For just...being you."

"Of course Chan don't mention it, but..." he pauses, taking the time to scratch the back of his head in honest confusion before continuing, "I don't understand. I couldn't be anybody _but_ me, it would be impossible."

"I suppose it would Joe," Chandler murmurs with fondness as he turns slightly at his words, closing the almost non existing space between them as he gives his best friend one of their famous hugs.

It lasts longer then what was probably deemed an 'appropriate' hug between two friends but Chandler can't find himself to care, and clearly neither does Joey as he seems to hug even tighter around the brunette's waist instead.

It could be said that he was arguably the happiest when in the company of his best friend.

And that feeling, was felt from both sides.

**

"Were getting snakes," is the first and only thing Chandler say's as he walks into their shared apartment, slamming the door a little harder then anticipated.

He took off his scarf and coat as Joey looked up from the reclining chair to observe his flat mate.

"Cool. I like snakes," Joey grins widely, nodding his head in excitement before cocking his head back at his roommate.

"Oh wait, why are we getting snakes?"

"Well that parts obvious," he scoffs mockingly, "Because I'm going to die alone and I need a hook. So, tada, Crazy Snake Man" His voice is a chaotic calm, a tone of matter of fact and self doubt as he hapzardly begins to pace around the apartment.

He's not sure how much sense he's making but it seemed to be the perfect scenerio when he had explained it to the girls at Monica's place.

Joey pauses before a slight frown blankets his lips. "Oh jeeze, your _still_ on this man?"

At this he turns the TV on mute as he gets up to sit across from him at their kitchen counter.

"Look man you got to get over this. You are not going to end up alone, that was what, one bad date? Hell I've had hundreds."

Chandler scoffs, running anxious fingers up and down his hair as he tries to quiet his pacing.

"Of course I'm going to be alone Joey, I'm not like you!. I reject anyone that's crazy enough to actually go out with me and then I bitch about the fact that there aren't any great women out there."

"Well maybe looking for a _woman_ is the problem," voice a quiet husk in almost a sound of unexpected annoyance that has Chandler stopping midpace.

"What is that supposed to mean? What you think I should just stop trying? And then where does that leave me? Alone on Christmas while the rest of you all celebrate it at each others houses!" He knows how angry he sounds, how bitter but he can't help the fear, the worry.

He's different, and to some degree he knows it.

He just doesn't understand it.

"I never said that Chan," voice a quiet whisper as Joey splayed his palms up in an overly neutral reaction so not to spook his roomate.

"All I'm saying is that maybe you shouldn't be looking at... _woman._"

Considering the weird spiraling thoughts that had crossed and flittered through Chandler's unwanting brain over the last couple days, it takes him more then one would expect to grasp what his best friend is getting at before,

"Oh haha, I get it, because Mr.Heckles called me your gay roommate, that's hilarious Joe." his voice is flat, cold.

He had always been embarrassed at the way his dad had fucked off and left him and his mother alone, only showing back up in his life to come out as gay before leaving Chandler in a tailspin of confusion and anger.

He could imagine the laughter people would express about his life if he were to share with anyone outside of his circle of friends but now it seemed even his best friend was throwing a cheap shot at him.

"Nobodies laughing here Chandler," and his best friend's voice is so low, so serious, that it startles the brunette with the unfamiliarity of it all.

"In fact I've never been more serious in my life," he's giving his friend the most pointed and intense look he has ever seen from Joey and if Chandler was being honest, it was making him feel flustered and scared.

"Just..._think_ about it," he sighs, almost in frustration as he plays at the tips of his dark raven hair, fingers sliding clumsily through.

_**Think about it??! He wants me to...THINK about it??** _

Panic is quickly replaced with rapid fire denial.

_** There's nothing to think about...** _

So then, why does he keep thinking about..._it_.

That's the last thing Chandler wants to do but still he can't help but notice the way Joey's voice sounds so deep and breathy, body fighting back a shiver as he realizes his best friend is dangerously close to him now for some reason.

"Women are..." Joey pauses for a minute to collect his thoughts and Chandler is stunned at how serious of a conversation the two of them seem to be having, and how disturbing the choice of topic is.

"Crazy."

Then for good measure, "Remember Stacy?"

"Ugh don't even start with her," Chandler shudders at the recollection of his ex.

"Okay forget Stacy, what I'm trying to get at is who better to understand you than a man, right?"

"Um..." and the brunette's at a complete loss of what to say.

_ ** W...wha...?? Where is this even coming from??** _

"I mean, who knows what a man likes, what a man wants truthfully, but another man..."

_ **Wha- What? ** _

_ **n-NO! ** _

_**I don't like where this conversation is going, I need to change the subject and fast.** _

"Jeeze Joey sounds like someone's given this alot of thought," Chandler scoffs, fist pounding his roommates shoulder good naturedly as he tries to deflect his insecurities and fears.

It's his best and most natural defense: his humor, and one that his roommate usually indulged him with a smirk.

But Joey's not grinning his trademark Tribbiani smile, rather he's piercing Chandler with a fixated stare.

The unfamiliar facial expression sends ripples of anxiety spreading through Chandler as he fits to hide the panic from his face.

_**Oh god Joey knows.** _

"Yeah, yeah I have Chan,"

Chandler stills, body completely petrified.

"...Alot actually,"

_**Oh god there's something not right about me and he fucking knows!** _

Chandler is so hyper-focused on his paranoia, terrified that his roommate has caught him in his own dirty self lie; his biggest fear slowly seeping into a reality he can no longer deny.

He's so lost in worry that he completely oblivious when Joey moves without warning, fingers lightly brushing against the well pressed buttoned down shirt of his roommates as Joey gently runs his fingers against the heated skin of Chandler's neck.

The latter tenses, eyes growing impossibly wide as he watches with mute shock.

"Hey, um, Joe, what ah...what are you doing there bud?"

"I...I don't know," Joey responds with a shrug of his shoulders as his fingers remain soft but firm on his neck, a slight caress trailing warmly up and down exposed flesh.

"I suppose, I just wanted to see something..."

"Like?" Chandler manages to croak out, his anxiety rising.

He waits for Joey's answer but the man says nothing, instead choosing the opportunity to lean forward, fingers curling around the back as he pulls Chandler aggressively close to himself and to his lips.

He can feel the tension between them, though Chandler isn't quite sure if it's his own over whelming anxiety and nervousness that make up the atmosphere completely.

Truthfully he can't tell and it's hard to think currently with Joey's lips still pressed against his, almost shyly.

It last only a second, nervous skin brushing ever so lightly against the other as Chandler gasps in surprise, unconsciously moving closer, as his best friend takes his bottom lip between his teeth, biting firmly before letting go and moving completely back from him.

"So um..." and Joey's rubbing the back of his head nervously, as he looks anywhere but at his roommate.

For once the brunette is at a loss for words.

_**W-What in the hell just happened??** _

"W...W" Chandler clams up, body stock still as he tries to process what exactly just transpired.

Joey however seemed already well and truly processed, a ball of anxious energy that has Chandler following his every moment wearily.

It's during his overly racing thoughts and the steadfast pounding of his chest that he remembers Joey's words back to him just before kissing him and his blood runs cold.

_I suppose I just wanted to see something...._

_ **To see... ** _

_ **Oh god... he's been thinking about me being gay for a long time hasn't he??** _

_ ** Fuck! ** _

_**So that's what this was all about. Does Joey think I suck so much at relationships that I must be queer??** _

Then Chandler had a terrible thought that in his opinion, was even worse then the actual notion of being gay itself.

_**Was this all just a test he did to confirm if I was a faggot or not?!** _

The mere motion twits something completely awful and gnarled in the brunette's anguished throat.

_ **God that's sick! Would Joey really do all that just to find out??** _

Chandler shifts uncomfortably as he considers the idea.

To go through so much trouble, I mean....H-

_ ** He put his lips against mine... ** _

_**Touched my lip with his bare teeth...** _

Chandler's breath catches at the thought, before eyes flutter shut in hazy hypothesis.

_ **I wonder.. ** _

_ **Would he of stuck his tongue in my mouth if I had opened up for him?** _

_ ** Or should I of licked- ** _

_ **WAIT.** _

_ ** WHAT? ** _

_ **WHAT! ** _

_ **NO. ** _

But it's too late, the image already conjured as Chandler stiffens back an unwanted groan as a steady flush begins to creep it's way across his neck from where his best friend had grabbed him.

Chandler just prays that Joey doesn't notice.

He felt a familiar unwanted wave of arousal and excitement knaw at the brunette; an emotion that Chandler can't help but internally chastise himself in horror when he realises why he feels that way..

_ ** Seriously, what the hell is wrong with me?? One minute I'm angry at the guy and then in the next moment I'm...I'm..** _

"Oh god...." it's said with such breath of desperate air that Chandler is sure Joey couldn't of heard it.

He hopes the shift of his perfectly pressed work pants isn't too obvious on what he's trying desperately to hide.

The reality is that he knows he should be mad at Joey for always being so damn irrational, or perhaps the extra surge of rage Chandler feels is simply the emotion of bottling up the pain of the undeniable disgust Joey is sure to have now with his confirmation of his best friend.

And what can Chandler say when it's so damn clear and obvious that anyone with half a brain could see from a mile long.

Point in case, the brunette can't stop the rolling anger and shame he feels constantly flowing through him especially now that it is peppered in a sudden inexplicable wave of arousal. Chandler is all these things and more as he can't contain the quiver he feels between his legs whenever he thinks back about his roommate.

The salacious image of Joey grabbing and taking whatever he wants from him sends something hot burrowing away at his chest that leaves the brunette feeling rather dizzy and short winded.

_**Jesus, it was just a kiss, I need to get a fucking grip!** _

It wasn't amateur hour, this hadn't been the brunette's first lip lock or surely his last.

_**But oh god, why do I feel like this?** _

He's wondering if his body is feeling overly sensitive in response to years of repressing his wants and needs only to finally get his first real life experience.

His first real taste of want, of _need. _

_ **Okay I need to get my head back into the game right now. This is Joey Tribbiani were talking about here. ** _

_ **Joey, ergo, my best friend.** _

But...

It would explain how a kiss could feel as good as a BJ or how a round of light caresses could leaves Chandler wanting to make a mess of himself in his pants already.

Unaware of his best friends silent crisis, Joey shifts nervously as he begins to sense the undeniably tension that starts to set between the two of them.

The longer words go unsaid, the more awkward things grow but yet silence still remains before Joey summons all his Tribbiani courage and finally speaks.

"I-I just...fuck...god I wasn't going to tell you Chan, I swear it! But when we had that, you know...kinda date," and **_oh god_** he's whispering that part as if just realizing what he had said. out loud.

Joey is now the one who's pacing and he must think he's being completely clear because he's stopped to stare at his best friend, as if almost waiting for something.

Chandler has no idea what Joey is getting at.

"I just...I.." his train of thought is cut short when a new, pressing matter takes shape.

"U...Um J-Joe, w-what are you doing?," Chandler's eyes are wide, and he's nervously clutching at his arm as he can't help but notice that Joey is back in his personal space and now way too close to be deemed socially appropriate.

"W-What is happening right now?"

_ ** How did we get so close? ** _

_**WHY are we so close?** _

Joey still hasn't moved after what must be hours, the brunette can feel the breath of his roommate brushing against almost contiguous lips.

Now Chandler is unable to hide the flush steadily growing against his cheeks, face turning a paler shade.

"I don't know Chan, you tell me, what is happening right now." Joey is still so close, but he's now more reserved, slightly pulled back.

Why is Joey acting so weird like he's trying to....

He's be lying to himself if he didn't admit that he was dying for the chase, to find Joey's lips and see how good they truly tasted against his own again.

_ **NO!** _

_ ** What the hell am I fucking thinking? Joey is my best friend for fuck sakes! ** _

_**And a guy**_. The last thought is jumbled and rushed, as if simply thinking the idea for the upkeep of formality at this point.

He's frustrated with himself, angry that he could be on the verge of ruining his friendship with his best friend possibly for good. It's these worries that have Chandler on edge, voice sharp, "How the hell am I supposed to know Joey, you tell me!" Winching, he knows his tone is overly harsh, and cold but he can't help himself when his defences are up as he waves uncontrollably with his hands.

Chandler can't help but think that this is all his fault. Like he's let his twisted thoughts go unmanned for too long and now as a result it was starting to spill out in his thoughts about Joey, horrified at what he was thinking.

"I'm....I'm just trying to be here for you is all," Joey finishes weakly and it's once again painfully obvious that he's hiding something.

_ ** What are you not telling me? The fact that's your praying your wrong about your assumptions of me being gay so things won't be weird, awkward? ** _

_ **Disgusting?** _

His internal thoughts leave the brunette feeling completely desolate and hollow, an emotion even worse then when he was rejected the other night in front of everyone.

"Are we still friends?" The question is abrupt, but a valid one, as Chandler gestures wildly to his roommate as he realizes he's kind of being an irrational asshole when his best friend had done technically 'nothing' but try to help.

At this, Joey seems to relax slightly, "Of course Chan, always, you know that."

"Okay."

"Okay... so,"

"So..."

_**Don't ask, don't ask.** _

"You said you weren't going to tell me something earlier, what was it?"

Any sign of a smile on Joey's face is instantly wiped away with a slight crinkle of a frown.

**_God what is wrong with me?_ **

"Oh nothing really, and uh...anyways," A timer sounds beside them on the kitchen stove as both boys jump with a startle. Chandler has to fight against his beating chest as he works to calm himself down.

"Oh HEY, _Baywatch_ is on man, we don't want to miss out on that!" and Chandler doesn't miss the obvious relief he can hear oozing from his roommates voice at the misdirection. Chandler Bing was, after all, the king of misdirection.

"I mean we _always_ watch _Baywatch_ so, let's just keep on doing that alright," he hits his friends shoulder good naturedly as he turns to head back to the recliner before Chandler steps in his path, blocking his escape route.

"Come on Joe, stop bullshitting me, I know you too well. Just tell me what's up.

"Friends forever, right?" He's looking earnestly into his roommates eyes as the dark haired man stares back.

"Yeah that's the problem," Joey mumbles sullenly and quietly as Chandler misses what is said.

"Well," Chandler asks, concern starting to grow on his face at his friends hesitation.

_ **What is Joey keeping from me??** _

"Nothing man, I just want you happy Chan, that's all."

"And are you happy Joey?" He's knows it not a real question but rather a childish remark, the reprimanded words hang thickly as Chandler can't help but feel hurt that his best friend won't confide with him.

The answer Joey gives in response is surprisingly quick.

"No."

_**...No??** _

"So what's stopping you?" Voice is sincere and dripped with honest curiosity. Up until now Chandler didn't think his best friend was sad.

He had a great group of friends that lived across the hall from him, he was scoring almost every other night, and he was currently pursuing his life-long dream of being an actor while living in a semi-nice apartment with his best friend.

_ ** I can't believe Joe's not happy....** _

_** God I'm such a terrible friend how could I of not known?** _

"Well to be honest," and he's scratching at the nape of his neck, a clear sign that Joey Tribbiani was nervous as Chandler's thoughts halted to a screech in anticipation.

"You."

"Come again?" Hands in pockets, Chandler tilts his head in disbelief at his best friend. He can feel his chest growing tighter at the confession but surely Chandler must of misheard.

_ ** What is he getting at? I'M stopping him from being happy? ** _

_**Oh god can Joey hear my thoughts or something, have I been acting weird and obviously? God I am gay aren't I?** _

**_Fuck it all makes sense._** It's his first time he's ever acknowledged his dark thoughts, choosing to bury them deep whenever such a notion came to surface.

_** Is that why- Do I disgust him?** _

Now Joey is clearly uncomfortable, shifting anxiously back and forth as his eyes desperately flitter behind his roommate and to the still muted TV.

_ **That's it isn't it... ** _

_**My own best friend is disgusted in me.** _

For the last couple days Chandler had been so focused on thought of how he was going to die alone and how nobody would love him. It was the saddest and most depressing spiral of thoughts his mind could conjure up ,that is until the concept of his best friend having revulsion for him that sets instantly and takes precedence over his mind.

And now it's all Chandler can think about.

_ ** I disgust Joey.** _

_ ** I disgust Joey. ** _

_**I disgust myself.** _

Joey must of been waiting for him to say something before finally giving up and trying again,

"_Your_ what's stopping me Chan."

A sudden flare of anger blankets the brunette's chest. It wasn't fair. Chandler barely realized or acknowledged his own insecure and horrified thoughts and it seemed Joey had already done just that, leaving Chandler feeling suddenly overly exposed and vulnerable before he was really ready.

_ ** I didn't ask for that, I didn't ask for any of this! I was perfectly happy living in denial... ** _

_**Well maybe not happy but...still!** _

But Chandler can't keep pretending despite the desperate and almost animalistic want to do just that. He can't pretend that Joey hadn't kissed him in what the brunette assumed was Joey's weird attempt to help him realize his true preferences.

**_Well good job there Joey_ **Chandler thought bitterly as he fought back the urge to run his fingers along his lips where his best friends mouth had touched him only moments ago.

It had been such a small kiss, but it had left the brunette feeling breathless, needy, as if finally experiencing something he should of been getting all long.

It dawns on him that Joey is still waiting for a response, so he mutters a half-hearted, " Is that so," back. He suddenly feels mentally exhausted, unwanting to keep the turn of conversation going a minute longer.

_**If I'm so fucking terrible, if I'm the reason your not happy then why do you stay then? Do you pity me?** _Of course Chandler doesn't have the courage or energy to voice any of these thoughts, body slumping over slightly in defeat.

"Yes Chan. I've been trying my best to help you with your dying alone thing but I gotta be honest, it's really hard sometimes, that and I know how you feel about gays.." Joey whispers quietly, rubbing gently at his arm as he crosses his arms to keep himself from fidgeting.

**_Sigh, why can't this conversation end already? Or better yet I spontaneously combust right here and right now._ **

"Listen Joe you got to understand that- Wait, how I feel about gays? What is that supposed to mean and tell me, how do I feel about them?"

_**Because someone better be telling me considering I don't have a flipping clue.** _

"I don't know, "he mirrors the brunettes inner thoughts as Joeys shrugs his shoulders shyly, an expression Chandler isn't used to seeing. He can't help but observe that the look of meekness looks good on the other man.

"Look I've been trying to be a good friend and to hook you up with someone, but sometimes it's hard okay and I can't always pretend to be that 'best friend' that your looking for. I can't always be that person that's either going to high five you after a successful date or help you forget about them in drinks and good quality TV programs. Because you know what, sometimes I want to be secretively happy when your date doesn't work out and your not a step closer to finding 'the one' and settling down.

_ ** Wait...** _

"I know that seems really shitty but, I can't help that that's the way I feel," and Chandler can tell by the distraught clearly on his roommates face that he isn't disgusted like his initial thoughts, but rather almost sad, depressed and that's when it dawns on him.

_ **God I'm such a selfish idiot!** _

Chandler had been so caught up on the constant worry and focus of being left behind as his friends all got engaged and married that he didn't even think that his best friend could also be worried about the same thing.

"Hey man, you don't need to be worried about everyone getting married off and leaving you as the only single guy of the group left I would never desert you," and any distance between the two boys is gone as Chandler moves to wrap Joey up in a tight hug.

Chandler can feel the tight muscles of his best friend in his arms as they seem tense before melting and relaxing into the contact as Joey quietly sighs before snuggling in tight.

Through the muffled contact a quiet, "Your my best friend Joey, and there's no way in hell a catch like you isn't going to reel in the most amazing dame ever."

Chandler wasn't always the best at words and expressing emotions at the most appropriate at times, instead using crude humor to mask the obvious pain. However, he was feeling pretty confident in his reassurance to his best friend in regards to helping him. And then the brunette watched as he moved back from the hug to smile reassuring at his best friend only to notice Joeys face falling more and more sullen with each sentence before Joey turned, forehead wrinkled slightly in agitation as pulls angrily and aggressively out of the comforting embrace.

"GOD DAMMIT CHANDLER! You are unbelievable sometimes, you know that?

** _Wait what?_ **

The man in question is at a complete loss, not expecting any of that from the Italian as he watches in wide eyed silence.

Frustrated hands move swiftly through gel spiked dark hair as Joey began to pace back and forth.

"Like honestly, where do you come up with this crap sometimes?"

"Okay hold on a second, lets back this up because I'm lost."

Joey pauses to take the time to eye his roommate wearily with fained annoyance.

_**Maybe I'm really the slow one.** _

"You don't say?" and there's a cold mocking tone to Joey's tone that Chandler decides he does not like one bit.

"Okay what the fuck Joey, what's your problem?"

"YOUR my problem," he hisses back, pointed finger jabbing Chandler in the chest.

"HOW??" The brunette roars back, tired of the accusation with no real answers.

He's no longer sure if this is about Chandler being gay or Joey being insecure about dying alone or something else completely and it's starting to drive the brunette up the wall.

"You just...you..ugh...fuck..just fuck..."

He's pushing Chandler aggressively back into the small kitchen space, and suddenly he's crowding Chandler, forcing him back against the counter top as the granite digs hard into the confused man's back.

"That isn't a real sentence Joe," he tries for casual knowing he's fallen flat. Luckily the Italian doesn't seem to care or register, eyes flashing bright with a dangerous almost feral look.

"Good. I'm tired of fucking talking."

Chandler want's to mockingly call back, _good, because me two_, but the thought is completely forgotten when Joey presses his body firmly against his own, chest and thighs firmly squared against each other.

He's painfully aware of how close his best friend is again, and begs his body not to react inappropriately and against his will.

He's so concerned about embarrassing himself that he doesn't notice until it's already happening.

Hungry desperate lips dip down, catching the brunette off guard as Joey fists the front of the white collar of Chandler's work dress shirts, pulling him too forcefully to him as lips crash aggressively against one another as hips thrust up.

Chandler yelps, taken back in surprise as he can't help but feel a sense of overwhelming warmth engulf him before a sliver of common sense catches up and he shifts slightly to address Joey.

"I...I..." Chandler stutters, at a loss of what to say, he's ashamed that he's panting and even more mortified that his body is twitching in nervous excitement of _want_.

"Just tell your brain to shut up for once Chan and let this happen alright?"

He's leaving soft kisses against the neck of his skin, peppering little marks all the way up to the confused brunette's jaw.

"I um..." Chandler tries again but fails.

"Don't you like the way this makes you feel?" the voice calls husky, a desperate conniving tone.

He wants to yell, No! That he didn't like the way his roommate, a _man_, was making him feel. That he was panting heavy against his will, unknowingly tilting his jaw so his throat was more exposed for Joey to attack with quick sharp bites that left Chandler tingling with an unfamiliar feeling.

"Tell me you want me to stop," voice horse and breathy as if touching the brunette was the only thing keeping Joey alive.

His thoughts are hazy, blissed out.

S**_top? W-Wwhy would we stop ever? Never stop making me feel good...._ **

A wet tongue presses against the side of his ear, leaving the littlest of licks as a pool of saliva drips down at an overly stimulated part.

_** OH GOD There!**_ and Chandler's arching up to fight the whine beginning to slip out.

He groans despite his attempts at biting his lips firmly between his teeth and full out whines against his will when Joey pulls back, a furrowed look of concern etched clear across his face.

He's starting to move even further away then what Chandler deemed socially acceptable for the two of them now.

Chandler still hasn't said anything, but wasn't it obvious? The way his body reacted in the slightest of touches in sheer lecherous pleasure.

Clearly it had not been as obvious as one might assume.

"Fuck, fuck, what the hell was I thinking," the last part Joey whispers somberly to himself as he avoids looking at his best friend.

"This was a mistake wasn't it? I'm so so sorry, honestly."

When Chandler still refuses to say anything, Joey pushes on, more frantic and desperate.

"Fuck I'm sorry Chan I'm just a big dumb idiot aren't I? I didn't mean to make things awkward between us."

**_A-Awkward?_ **

The brunette says nothing out loud, mind hazy and completely blitzed out by lust.

And then...

"Are...are we still friends?" the voice echoes of a question Chandler had asked Joey only minutes prior.

The eerie parallel seems to work in snapping the brunette from his inner thoughts as he finally glances up at a deeply flustered Joey.

"Of course, always Joe, you know that, don't you?" he's surprised he can say anything, with his body still in shock but he finds the words robotically filtering out of red stained lips of excited touches and marks.

"Yeah...yeah I do."

The brunette senses the relief on his friends face, the way he smiles again even if it seems like it's one of his overly fake one's he always seemed to have plastered on whenever practising for a role. He moves further away from Chandler, pretending to make himself busy as he checks the fridge for something to keep his hands occupied.

Chandler was going through a whirl of emotions ranging from scared and terrified, to needy and lecherous.

He liked the way Joey tasted, but he hated himself for liking it.

_ ** Was the kiss just for my benefit... ** _

_ **Or.... ** _

The two emotions went back and forth like an ON and OFF switch before Chandler finally shook his head reaching a decision.

** _ I can't pretend after all that...I can't go back..I just can't!_ **

It's the first time Chandler's ever wanted to actually do something about all the weird feelings and emotions he has had rolling along inside him for the last couple of years, at least. He's so used to running and hiding that the thought of letting himself want such a thing is absolutely appalling and amazingly liberating at the same time.

_ ** I need to be brave.** _

"But um..." Chandler takes a step boldly closer.

_ **What the hell am I doing? ** _

_ **I can't honestly be about to do this, am I?** _

"Sometimes..." at this, Joey pauses in the fridge, body tense as he manages a quick peak at his friend as they lock eyes.

_ ** You can do this. Breathe.** _

_ ** God I AM about to do this, have I gone absolutely insane?? ** _

_**Joey might not even like me like...that. What if ...what if he was just trying to help me come to grips with myself...** _

"Chandler...?" and it's the clear worry in his best friend's voice that comes out strained and anxious that suddenly evaporates any doubt Chandler might of been having.

_ **I can't believe this, but I have to do this. I don't want to end up like Mr.Heckles,** _

_** Too afraid to go out and face his realities head on. I have to at least try...** _

"Yeah Joe, I'm here, sorry. It's just, well...sometimes a truly amazing friend comes along that sees you for who you are completely and not only likes you still, but accepts you even when you might not accept yourself fully.

"I... I'm sorry I'm so weird about all this, my dad really messed me up as a kid and I guess a part of me still faults him for everything he did to me and my mom, and I hated him for that. And I suppose as an association I hated the whole idea of him as a whole including him being gay but..."

"But...?" Joey asks gently, eyes never leaving the other man's face as the brunette can't help but think that Joey's face looks almost hopeful.

"But...I'm...I'm tired of pretending. Tired of denying these...feelings I've been burying down for...

...well for awhile."

There's a long silence between the two of them before Joey finally seems to find his voice and respond.

"And do these...feelings of yours...are any of them directed at me?" Womanizer and an actor, Chandler can't help but think that he had never before seen his best friend so concerned and unsure as he was right now.

_ **Please don't let me be wrong. ** _

_ **Please. ** _

_**Please.** _

"...Maybe.." Chandler whispers back, a shy blush creeping up at the corners of his cheeks that he prays Joey doesn't see.

He does.

And just like that, Joey was back, eager fingers easily catching Chandler's in his own as the brunette groans into the touch, allowing for Joey to slide their fingers together with no qualms.

Hips and body aligned once more, Chandler can't help but stutter at the sudden pressure of an obvious hardness that his roommate Joey clearly has, the outline of his cock straining an impressive outline through his jeans.

He bites his lip, knowing he shouldn't be thinking about stuff like that, that it was wrong, but Joey is smiling brightly and Chandler can't hide the rush of excitement over the fact that Joey is looking at him with the most lecherous grin and it was completely directed at him, and him alone.

"Hey Chan?"

"Yes Joe?" voice a ball of nervous energy.

Despite the tension, the brunette can't help but smile at the familiarity.

"I'm going to kiss you again now, is that okay??"

_ **Oh god...is it?? ** _

_**Am I really okay with a man kissing me?** _

But in reality it wasn't just a man, and Chandler knew that. In fact _it_ wasn't just anything, _he_ was Joey.

Best friend,

roommate,

the person he single handedly trusted the most out of anyone else in the world. He loved his group of friends as a whole, Ross and Rachel and Monica and Phoebe but Joey was always the most important person to him in that entire circle of friends. Without Joey, there was no group in Chandler's eyes.

So when said man looked nervous again, almost doubtful, Chandler didn't hesitate a second longer as he took the step in closing the remaining gap between the two of them as his head tilts up to rest on Joey's shoulder blade. He boldly moves his arms to curl around the Italian's waist as he gives off what he hopes is his most charming smile.

"Why don't you kiss me and find out big boy," he called cheekily as he waited for Joey's face to twist and change in realization as the biggest smile is mirrored back at the challenge.

"Well alright then!" he cheers happily before grabbing Chandler by the back of his neck, overly excitedly and desperate for anything and everything the brunette would let him have, let him _take_.

There's still the slight hesitation, but Chandler let's himself relax as Joey nuzzles his nose against his upper lip before tilting so he can press firmly against. Fingers wrap around Chandler's jaw as he forcefully pushes the latter's lips apart, expertly pressing his tongue inside an unexpected mouth as the brunette groans at the heat and wetness of everything.

** _God why does this feel so good? It's just a kiss..._ **

"Is this okay?" Joey asks, pulling back and further away, much to Chandler's dislike as Joey studies his facial expression.

_ **You could say no, you could stop all this right now... ** _

But even as he contemplates he knows he doesn't want that. To pretend, to hide. To go back to the way things were with meaningless first dates and Joey bringing home some new girl of the night back to their shared apartment.

The image sends a flare of jealously in the put of Chandler's stomach and he knows without a doubt that that wasn't an option.

Chandler never did learn how to share.

"Yes, god yes, just don't stop....please don't stop Joe.." he's whining, knowing how unattractive and needy he must seem, a trait his ex's had deemed annoying at the level of clingy he could get.

But Joey doesn't say anything, nor does he seem put off in the slightest, the man in question seemingly to grow increasingly happier at the omission of feelings instead as he pulls his friend back to him and into his arms.

Chandler's heart is beating wildly, alarmed with himself for saying such a thing and to Joey no less.

It wasn't the fact that it was another man he was saying it to, though apart of him was still scared at this cognizance as well.

No the real reason for his heart beating so loudly almost breaking through his chest was because...

Well...

** _Because it's Joey._ **

And that acknowledgement opened an even more complicated set of emotions.

Through it all there was one feeling that stuck out the most.

_** Happiness.** _

Actual happiness.

He's terrified of tomorrow, but as he kissed his best friend Joey back, willingly, all Chandler can think of is how maybe it's too soon to think of such things, but he's suddenly not afraid of dying alone anymore.

Everything was alien, and truthfully a bit terrifying, but Chandler knew Joey, and Joey knew Chandler.

He knows what the other man liked, and didn't. He knew what his ticks and pet peeves were and the annoying traits the Italian possessed upon living with him for years.

He knew more about Joey then anyone else in his life, and it's that realization that let's Chandler know that what he's feeling is real, and with the way Joey is currently looking at him, he knows his best friend feels it too.

It's a sensation that leaves Chandler excited over the anticipation of the rest of his life. 


	2. THE NEXT DAY

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Felt that the last chapter had a wonderful ending as I did my third re read but I had also liked what I had written for the next day so thought I would also include that so it would erase any doubts of Chandler leaving or Joey not being serious.
> 
> Either way,a merry happy ending and thanks again if anyone takes the time to read this I greatly appreciate it <3

"Hey um, good morning, look who's here!" he knows he sounds like a nervous idiot and can't help the stupid laugh he does when he's under extreme pressure.

Thankfully, Joey knows Chandler, so he doesn't judge or question it, just comes up and squeezes the other man from behind, wrapping firm arms around his front and torso.

"Yeah imagine that. It's like we live together or something."

"Yeah or something..." Chandler responds dazed as he loses himself in the feeling of Joey holding him so tight and close.

Last night had been...amazing.

Slow steady kisses had turned into something much more heated, the thought still leaving Chandler breathless and dizzy and completely hard as hell.

However, despite his want, Chandler was still inexperienced, not wanting to rush until things were more established between him and Joey and the other man had completely understood, dark raven hair nuzzling lightly against the side of the brunette's cheek.

For a brief moment, Joey had taken Chandler's want of taking things slow a little too literal and when said man had said his goodnights hours late despite his obvious discontent for having to let go of the other man, Chandler had practically withered and whined- body crying out at the loss of touch.

Joey had been back at his side in an instant without a second thought. Leaving nothing up for debate he had bent his arms down to the back of his best friend's body before muscular arms moved and flexed, scooping up Chandler with ease as Joey carried the other man princess style to his bedroom.

The latter thought about protesting at the obvious implication of being placed in the woman role, but couldn't find himself to care when Joey gently placed him on the bed only to strip his shirt off and sneak under the covers, pulling Chandler to his now bare chest so the brunette could snuggle ontop.

And Chandler did, more than happy to oblige as both boys fell into a blissful sleep, Joey's arms not leaving his new lover's body in a tight blanket of security.

That had been a wonderful last night but that memory had come and gone and the best friends were now faced with the reality of the next day.

The first morning is always a big one. It's a clear indication of both parties of what exactly each one wants from the other.

A quick fuck, an instant regret...or something more.

Looking back, the brunette can only recall a small handful of times that his roommate Joey had ever wanted anything more then a single night of meaningless.

They hadn't done anything but Chandler knows his friend unfortunately too well sometimes.

For instance, Chandler knows for a fact that Joey doesn't wait around just to get a lay.

Chandler doesn't want a quick fuck, nor does he want to pretend nothing happened last night and go back to being just friends with Joey.

The thought of that terrifies him, and a little part of him is proud that he's able to accept the fact that he wants something with a man, and with his best friend of all people.

_** But what if that's all Joey wants from me? What if he was just being polite yesterday after I told him I wanted to take things slow just because we have history as best friends....** _

"So uh, can I offer you some cereal and one-"

It's his worries and insecurities that bubble and rush to the surface, desperately thrashing and begging to boil up as he cuts his roommate off.

"I'm hopeless and awkward and desperate for love!"

_ **Oh my...fuck...smooth.** _

Chandler is all too familiar with this new sensation. It's a common place one of a burning shame and regret and it takes everything in his power not to tuck his tail in between his legs and run out of the apartment right here and now but he knows ultimately it will just makes things more awkward for them if he puts this off.

"I um...that's..." Chandler rubs at the back of his neck nervously when he realizes his friend is now frozen, staring intensely at him as if he's just grown two heads.

"I uh, say more dumb things before 9 a.m. than most people say all day," he mutters quietly as he attempts to save face.

_ **Stupid stupid stupid! God why must I ruin everything!** _

Joey blinks slowly, face a neutral mask before skin stretches into a wide angled smirk.

"That's okay Chandler buddy, I already knew that!" and arms move with a firm grip as he pulls his friend and new found love closer.

"What, the first thing I said or the second," the brunette can't help but mutter quietly.

"The first one, and well the second one two," he says with a cheeky wink before face morphing into A semi-serious one.

"And hey listen, I may not be hopeless, or the smartest, but I sure am desperate to love you as well."

"Joey your not stu-" a finger pressed against soft lips as Joey lovingly silences Chandler.

"And you know..." Voice a husky deep growl, as he briefly pulls the brunette's face back to get a good look at him.

"This could all be prevented if we just stayed in bed until 10," and with that he's blindly kissing Chandler softly, hands curling around the back of his shoulder as he feels the dip of his shoulder blade, revels in the way the brunette shudders underneath him at his touch.

Chandler had never once in his entire life considered the possibility of being gay, but now with Joey holding onto him tight and assuring him that everything was going to be alright and that the two of them had each other, Chandler couldn't help but think of anyone or anything other then Joey.

And if Chandler was being honest with himself,

he was okay with that.

In fact, he was more then okay with that as he moaned happily into Joey's touch, revealing in the way his new boyfriend held him so tight and protective with love.

_ ** God this is so** _

_ ** ...so...** _

_ ** Perfect.** _

**Author's Note:**

> Well and there you have it. I'm not sure if anyone even really reads about this pair truthfully, but I just started getting into friends recently and I couldn't help but think how good Chandler and Joey would be together and giggle quietly over they're little 'gay moments' in the show together.  
So if you liked this,  
PLEASE PLEASE let me know. First time writing for the pairing and be nice to know if I did alright or shit the bed.
> 
> Thanks to anyone and everyone that took the time to read,  
cheers!


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